The Marathon Pharaoh
by Death By Segway Scooter
Summary: Kaiba has to pay a little visit to the dentist thanks to a horrible toothache. But nothing good ever started in a dentist's office.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, I just write about it. Kazuki Takahashi is the guy that actually owns it. Go talk to him.

**Warnings:** Use of the dub, as usual.

**The Marathon Pharaoh**

Seto Kaiba grumbled to himself as he stared out the back window of his limousine. He was taking a ride down to his local dentist's office. He had developed a nasty toothache recently, and had to get it taken care of. Needless to say, he was not happy about it.

Normally, he would not be doing this. He thought it was a complete waste of time; after all, he had a _major corporation_ to run, y'know. He thought he could just tough it out. However, the pain refused to go away. After a special plea from Mokuba (who had apparently been learning about the importance of oral hygiene in school that day), Seto finally made the appointment.

The limousine arrived at the office and pulled up to the entrance. Seto grudgingly got out. As he stormed inside, he noticed that the office building looked familiar. The door was rounded at the top. Above the door, a sign read "DENTIST" in spiky font. However, he couldn't remember where he saw this place before.

It must have been a slow day, because the reception room was empty. There was only one girl at the reception desk. She had rather wild blonde hair and big, saucer-like blue eyes. She was wearing way too much blush on her cheeks. She seemed to be busy talking on the phone while writing things down. Probably setting up appointments. She also looked familiar, but again he couldn't remember where he saw her before.

Seto looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. He was fifteen minutes early. He grunted to himself and sat down in the nearest chair.

_This is so pointless,_ he thought, despite the fact that his toothache was currently making his entire mouth hurt. _Watch them tell me nothing's wrong...or that I need to floss more often. I wish Mokuba hadn't talked me into this..._

He glanced over on the coffee table in front of him, wondering if there was anything he could read to pass the time. He wondered if he should be vaguely disturbed that all the magazines consisted of power tool and weapon catalogs.

"Mister Kaiba?" a cheery voice chirped.

Seto looked up to see the receptionist looking at him. "Yes?" he replied, blandly.

"Ah, I see you have an appointment for 2:30 today," she said. "But it's been a slow day today. You can just go right in!"

"Good!" Seto grumbled. "Might as well get this over with."

He trudged into the next room, which looked like a typical oral examination room. There was a reclining chair in the center of the room that had its cushions lined with paper. It had the large examining light hanging above it. Next to the chair was a tray lined with various dental instruments - all of them looking very well-sharpened. All along the walls were various cabinets and a sink. Seto non-chalantly sat down in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

_This better be quick,_ he thought, scowling.

"Ahh, Mister Kaiba!" a very familiar voice greeted him. Seto looked up to see an equally familiar face looking back at him from behind a facemask.

"Pegasus!" he cried.

The man standing in the doorway holding a clipboard was certainly the spitting image of Duel Monsters creator, Maximillion Pegasus. He looked about the same height and same weight. He had the same long, white hair covering the right side of his face. He even had the same voice! The only difference is that he was wearing scrubs, a hairnet, and a facemask.

"You must be mistaken," the familiar-looking dentist said. "I'm afraid I'm not Maximillion Pegasus, just your average dentist. I sure wouldn't mind his money, though."

"You look an awful lot like him," Seto remarked.

"Yeah, well...I get that a lot," the dentist replied. "I assure you we're not related at all. At least, I don't think so." He turned his attention to the clipboard in his hand. "So, you're in here for a...toothache?"

"Yes," the young tycoon grunted as his mouth began to hurt again thanks to the reminder.

"Tsk, tsk. I see this is your first visit here in a couple years," the dentist scolded mockingly as he flipped through the papers on his clipboard. "You're supposed to see your dentist twice a year, y'know. Maybe that's why you have a toothache!"

_I knew he was gonna start lecturing me,_ Seto thought, irritated even more. He simply replied to dentist's criticism with a "Yeah, yeah."

"Well, at least you're here now," the dentist said. "Anyway, let's take a look at that tooth, shall we?"

He fetched a paper towel from a box by the sink and two clips from his pocket. He then fastened the towel to the collar of Seto's shirt. The young businessman felt the clips pinch him a little. He tried to ignore it, but the dentist somehow read his mind.

"Oops, sorry!" he said in a mocking voice. Seto just sneered back at him.

The dentist grabbed a mouth mirror and a periodontal probe from the tray. "O-pen wiiiide," he chirped in a sickeningly-sweet-on-purpose voice.

Despite the fact that the annoying dentist wanted to make him _grind_ his teeth instead, Seto obeyed. The sooner this was over with, the better.

"Oh, come on!" the dentist said in that mocking tone again. "You can do better than _that_!"

Seto narrowed his eyes angrily, but opened his mouth wider.

"Good boy!" the dentist cheered.

At this point, Seto almost felt like strangling the annoying Pegasus doppelganger.

The dentist adjusted the overhead light and began examining the young tycoon's mouth. Most of it looked fine - except for the lower right-hand corner of his mouth. The gums were awful red, and one of his molars looked like it was turning brown along the gum line.

"Oh, my!" he cried, sounding halfway serious this time. "One of your molars is looking pretty bad! Hang on, let me get a better look at it..."

Seto raised an eyebrow. A molar was "looking pretty bad"? What was _that_ supposed to mean?

The dentist gently poked the tooth with the probe, checking to make sure it wasn't something that was just caught between Seto's teeth. As he did, the tycoon felt a burst of stabbing pain shoot through his mouth and part of his face. He let out a scream and jerked his head to the left. The startled dentist jumped backward. His elbow bumped the tray, almost knocking it over.

Seto sat up and put his hand on his cheek. He felt like reading the dentist the riot act, but right now his mouth hurt too much to do that.

"Oh, my!" the dentist exclaimed after gathering his bearings. "It's just as I feared..."

Seto just glared at him. "Huh...?" was about all he could say.

"I'm afraid your molar is decaying," the dentist explained. "I think it's already got an abscess!"

This time Seto looked surprised. So much for them telling him that nothing was wrong! But how could this happen? Seto brushed his teeth regularly; he shouldn't be getting tooth decay.

"But, you're in luck," the dentist added, wearing one of Pegasus' smug smiles underneath his mask. "One of our oral surgeons just happens to be in today. He's a bit overzealous, but he's quite talented."

He stepped out of the room and called to someone down the hallway, "Oh, doct-or! I'm going to need your help here! It seems our patient has a decaying tooth!"

Seto suddenly thought he heard the sound of a drill coming from down the hallway. A moment later, another very familiar face appeared in the doorway. This time, it was...Yugi?

It certainly looked like him. He was the same height, had the same spiny, colorful hair, and was glaring in the same stern manner like he did during every duel. He, too, was wearing a facemask, hairnet, and scrubs. He was also carrying a power drill.

But what was _he_ doing here? Why did the dentist refer to him as the "oral surgeon" (he wasn't even out of high school yet)? Was he another look-alike? But most importantly, why was he carrying a _power drill_?

Before Seto could gather his thoughts, Yugi's visage suddenly turned from stern to demented. He turned on the drill and stalked toward the young tycoon.

Seto sat up, alarmed. "Yugi!" he barked, ignoring the throbbing pain in the back of his mouth. "Is this some kinda sick joke, or have you completely lost your mind?"

Yugi didn't answer him. Instead, with an almost inhuman speed and grace, he _jumped_ into the chair. He kicked Kaiba in the chest with one foot, knocking him back into a reclining position. He then pinned the young businessman to the chair by keeping that foot planted firmly on Kaiba's chest. Then, with his free hand, the seemingly insane Yugi pried Seto's mouth open. Seto attempted to fight him, but Yugi had mysteriously acquired some sort of superhuman strength. He couldn't pull Yugi's hand out of his mouth, nor could he throw Yugi off him.

_When did this geek get so strong?_ Kaiba wondered as he struggled. _Is he on steroids, or something?_

It was then that Yugi pointed the drill at Seto's mouth. "Is it safe?" he roared in that deep voice that he only seemed to possess during duels.

In a panic, Seto desperately tried to shove the shorter boy off of him but it was no use. Somehow, Yugi's rather thin frame had become heavier than an anvil. Meanwhile, the drill was getting closer and closer. It was now in his mouth and slowly inching toward the decaying molar. Inching closer and closer until...

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Seto abruptly awoke and sat up, nearly jumping out of bed. As he sat there in bed breathing heavily, he realized he wasn't in a dentist's office at all; he was actually in his own bedroom at home. No annoying clones of Pegasus, and no demented spiny-haired twerps waving around power tools. Curious, he opened his mouth and prodded some of his molars with a finger. No tooth decay either, apparently.

Suddenly, he heard the door open. A sleepy Mokuba stepped in, rubbing his eyes.

"Big brother, what's goin' on in here?" the younger Kaiba mumbled, groggy. "I heard you shoutin' and stuff..."

"It's nothing, Mokuba," Seto said reassuringly. "Just had a bad dream. You should go back to sleep now."

"You sure...?" the droopy-eyed Mokuba asked.

"I'll be fine," the older Kaiba replied. "On the other hand, you've got school in the morning. You better get to bed."

Mokuba yawned. "Well, okay," he said softly, turning to leave. "G'night, Seto."

"G'night, Mokuba," Seto replied with a smile.

Once Mokuba left, Seto's smile faded. The next time he saw that geek Yugi again, he'd have to tell him to kindly stay out of his dreams - and away from power tools while he was at it. As for Pegasus, well...he just hoped he'd never have to see _him_ again!

And while he didn't want to admit it, that dream did give him the urge to get up and brush his teeth again.

****

End.


End file.
